new column: secret tribunals and how the vatican deals with GASS

This week's column at The Front Page Online features some more fun from those wacky folks at the Vatican:

Secret Tribunals and How the Vatican Deals with GASS

I can sympathize with that whole spitting and chewing the Jesus wafer thing. But maybe there’s a glitch in the transubstantiation process, in which the wafer is held to literally become the body of Christ. Setting aside the icky, ghoulish cannibalism eating the Eucharist represents, maybe they just need to offer flavoured wafers. As I recall from my days as an altar boy, the wafer tasted kind of…dusty. Which can make some kind of symbolic sense considering that Jesus is two-thousand years old. But how about some flavouring? Beef jerky wafers – bubblegum for the kids – might offer a tasty incentive to swallow the Messiah.


Nick said...

Since I've never had one of these things though I was always under the impression they were 'stale' tasting. I think the idea of flavour enhancement would be a wonderful idea! Why stick to beef when there's all sorts of wonderful flavours to choose from. How about BBQ pork? :D

Frederik Sisa said...

There could a whole new cottage industry for flavoured communion wafers. Maybe vitamin-enhanced too?